Here’s my latest out-of-office message, set to go out to work e-mails I receive beginning today.

Yes, folks, I’m not in the office today. I’m making a personal exit to Eden. Yes, Eden. Don’t know where it is? Neither do I, but the person driving does. I hope.

I’m planning to lose myself in the first garden I find there. If I find my way out again, I’ll respond to your e-mail when I’m back in the office on Monday. If not, well . . . come find me in the Garden of Eden.

I’m going to enjoy a much-needed vacation.

One thing I’ve become known for at work is my out-of-office message. I take a few short vacations each year, and each time I get comments about my out-of-office message. I decided it would be nice to keep a record of my messages. Here’s the one that’s up now.

You know, this whole out-of-office message is a lot of pressure, so I’m going to skip it this time around. I’ll be back in the office on January 2.

OK, OK, I’ll leave you with a song.

On the first day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
A holiday, completely work free.

On the second day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the third day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Four paid days off
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Five long winter naps
Four paid days off
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my coworker gave to me
Six L. Sebastian book purchases
Five long winter naps
Four paid days off
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Seven envious glances
Six L. Sebastian book purchases
Five long winter naps
Four paid days off
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Eight Lanaia poems
Seven envious glances
Six L. Sebastian book purchases
Five long winter naps
Four paid days off
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Nine pieces of flair
Eight Lanaia poems
Seven envious glances
Six L. Sebastian book purchases
Five long winter naps
Four paid days off
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Ten water bottles
Nine pieces of flair
Eight Lanaia poems
Seven envious glances
Six L. Sebastian purchases
Five long winter naps
Four paid days off
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Eleven medications
Ten water bottles
Nine pieces of flair
Eight Lanaia poems
Seven envious glances
Six L. Sebastian book purchases
Five long winter naps
Four paid days off
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my coworkers gave to me
Twelve birthday presents
Eleven medications
Ten water bottles
Nine pieces of flair
Eight Lanaia poems
Seven envious glances
Six L. Sebastian book purchases
Five long winter naps
Four paid days off
Three quarts of ice cream
Two Coke rewards caps
And a holiday, completely work free.

Happy holidays!