Martin: I thought you would be.

Lia: I’m all for subtlety, but I didn’t see any signs of your villainy.

Martin: There’s a reason for that. I’m not the villain.

Lia: You’re not? I’ve already written the scene where you—

Martin: I know. But it’s wrong.

Lia: So who’s the real villain?

Martin: You know already. Hey, can you change my name, too? Martin doesn’t really suit me.

Lia: {Pauses} Anything else?

Martin: Yeah. Aren’t you going to tell people about your newsletter?

Lia: Why don’t you go ahead?

Martin: OK. She’s got a new newsletter. Sign up to receive it in the sidebar. If you’re already on her mailing list, you don’t have to sign up again.

Lia: Thank you. I’m going to go back to writing now, if that’s OK with you.

Martin: Sure. Just remember what I said.

Jeffrey: Hey.

Lia: I’ve been trying to come up with a name for your gallery. A coworker suggested one . . .

Jeffrey: I know. That’s not it.

Lia: Okay. What is it?

Silence.

Lia: Jeff?

Jeffrey: You’ll know when it’s the right one.

Lia: (Sighs.) All right. While I have you here, can I ask you something? What’s important to you?

Jeffrey: Why?

Lia: I’m trying to understand you better. You’ve been kind of elusive. I know Shay thinks so.

Jeffrey: She doesn’t get close to people.

Lia: That’s true. But in this case, I agree with her. You are elusive.

Jeffrey: (Pauses.) What you see is what you get.

Lia: (Files that for later consideration.) Uh huh. But what’s important to you?

Jeffrey: You already know.

Lia: Shay. The gallery.

Jeffrey: Right.

Lia: What else?

Jeffrey: {Editor’s note: Answer has been edited to avoid jinxing the name}

Lia: What do you mean by . . . hey. That would be an interesting name for a gallery. Cool. All right. Now, could you tell me a little more about yourself?

Silence.

Lia: Jeffrey? Where’d you go?

I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in a while. I’m working on your story now (I’ve even started a love scene), and I’m hoping you’ll come back and talk to me the way you did before. I’d love to find out more about you and get your input. I enjoyed our earlier conversation.

Lia

P.S. I’m open to any title ideas you have.

* * * * *

Lia,

Finish the love scene. Then we’ll talk.

Tony

P.S. Worry about the title later.

Peter: {Holds up a hand} Stop.

Lia: What? Why?

Peter: Readers don’t need all that boring introduction stuff.

Lia: But–

Peter: They know I’m the hero of Office Relations. That’s enough for now.

Lia: All right. Let’s get started. First, are you nervous about the book’s release tomorrow?

Peter: No. As far as I’m concerned, the story’s the story. {Pauses} You’re the one who’s nervous.

Lia: You’re right. Okay, let’s move on to the story. Do you want to explain how it got started or should I?

Peter: Go ahead.

Lia: I work in an office with dozens of conference rooms, and I thought it made a good setting for a story. So I visualized a man and a woman who had to work together in a conference room on a project, and from there, Peter was born.

Peter: That’s right. I showed up first.

Lia: Yes. Your voice came through quite clearly, even before I knew what you looked like. You were pretty frustrated being in a room with Sabrina and not being able to–

Peter: Can you blame me? Sabrina’s beautiful, and her beauty is only one of the things I like about her.

Lia: Peter, that’s sweet.

Peter: {Rolls eyes} I have my moments.

Lia: Let’s talk about Sabrina.

Peter: No problem for me. What do you want to know?

Lia: As I mentioned, I heard your voice almost immediately, but the story actually starts in her point of view. Tell readers how she developed as a character.

Peter: Okay. Lia asked me to talk about the woman I was so interested in, so I told her about Sabrina. Pretty simple.

Lia: You’re not the one who had to write it.

Peter: Hey. Living it wasn’t any easier.

Lia: Point taken. I’m sorry. Please continue.

Peter: That’s it. I talked, and you listened. Something you don’t always do.

Lia: {Considers how to change the subject} Back to Sabrina–

Peter: Nice try.

Lia: {Gives up} All right. Readers, Peter is referring to a recent shopping trip–

Peter: I’ll tell this one. First of all, Lia’s doing a contest to celebrate the release of Office Relations, so she came up with this idea to give away office supplies–

Lia: I call it an office survival kit.

Peter: Whatever. Anyway, while she was out shopping, I mentioned a must-have item. She ignored me.

Lia: I didn’t ignore you.

Peter: You didn’t buy what I suggested.

Lia: You suggested condoms. I decided against including condoms in the kit.

Peter: You said it’s an office survival kit, right? I wouldn’t have survived that conference room without a condom. It came in handy.

Lia: Yes, it did. But I’m not including them in the office survival kits.

Peter: {Sighs} The kits don’t include condoms, but they are pretty cool. Sign up for Lia’s newsletter and you’ll be entered for the contest as well as any other contests she does. Just put your e-mail address in the box in the left column of this blog. She’ll draw two winners for this contest on July 1.

Lia: {Mutters} You’re better at promo than I am.

Peter: Yeah, because I’m used to it. It’s a big part of my job.

Lia: Well, thanks.

Peter: No problem. We done here? I want to take Sabrina out to dinner to celebrate the release of our story.

Lia: Aren’t you forgetting someone?

Peter: Three’s a crowd. Besides, two of your coworkers are taking you out to lunch tomorrow.

Lia: Right. But–

Peter: See you. {Leaves}

So, that was Peter Merrill. I hope you enjoy the interview. His and Sabrina’s story, Office Relations, comes out tomorrow.

Sean: I’ve got an issue with you.

Lia: I thought you might.

Sean: Yeah? Well, my issue is that you want me to talk about my issues.

Lia: What’s wrong with that?

Sean: (Long pause.) I’m a man. I don’t want to talk about issues. I want to get on with it. That’s what’s wrong.

Lia: What do you want to get on with?

Sean: SEX. It’s bad enough that I’ve been celibate for six months.

Lia: That’s because–

Sean: It’s because of Chloe. I know. And you’re right–I do love her.

Lia: So?

Sean: So, now I’m stuck in an elevator with the woman I love and you want me to talk about my issues?

Lia: Everyone has issues, Sean. It’s part of the human condition.

Sean: Fine. You talk about them. I’ve got better things to do.

Lia: