Lennox: We don’t take orders from people that don’t exist.
Simmons: I’m going to count to five.
Lennox: (Switches off safety) I’m going to count to three.
Defense Secretary: I’d do what he says. Losing’s not really an option for these guys.

I saw the Transformers movie when it came to theatres. The experience went something like this.

Friend Tyler (FT): Let’s see Transformers.

Lia: OK. Hope I like it.

FT: It’ll be great.

{In theatre}

After 20 minutes . . .

Lia: (Thinks) Now there’s a guy who looks good in uniform. Hope he makes it home to see his baby girl.

After 50 minutes . . .

Lia: (Thinks) Okay. He’s still alive. He’ll stay that way, I’m sure.

After 115 minutes . . .

Lia: (to FT) He’d {smack} better make it {smack} home to see his baby! {smack} Or I’ll hit you.

FT: (Holding his arm where I smacked him) You’re already hitting me.

Lia: Those are love taps, buddy.

After 120 minutes . . .

Lia: (to FT’s sister) I’m serious. He’s going to make it home, right? Right?

FTS: I haven’t seen this movie. I don’t know.

Surprisingly, I didn’t have a heart attack before the end of the movie, although I think it took a while for my heart rate to return to normal.

So last week . . .

Lia: I bought the special edition of Transformers on DVD. We should watch it.

FT: I don’t know . . . I didn’t love it. It was good, but . . .

Lia: You’re worried about the love taps, aren’t you?

FT: Um.

Lia: (Thinks) I can watch it alone. I do love a man in uniform . . .